Crack Car
by Ciel In A Dress
Summary: THIS IS CRACK. So Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and some other people are all trying to retrieve a car. It is not supposed to make sense. Rated T for insanity.


**A/N: My first attempt at crack. I haven't really read that much crack either… I hope it turns out good!**

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**Crack Car**

"Give me that!" Sakura screamed.

"No way!" Syaoran answered. "Get your own!"

"AS IF! Give me that car!!" she yelled, chasing him down the street. People turned and stared but the couple didn't stop running.

"It's mine!" he shouted, holding the tiny plastic toy car up above his head triumphantly.

"Oof!" he said, surprised and quite possibly injured, as Tomoyo suddenly dived out from nowhere and tackled him to the ground.

"AHA!!" she said, taking the car and sitting on Syaoran who was crumpled in a heap on the road. "My Ferrari…" she muttered, stroking it gently, the love for it obvious in her eyes.

"Tomoyo!" Sakura exclaimed, continuing the chase with a new target. Tomoyo saw Sakura coming, squealed, got up, and started running, the car held close to her chest. Sakura leapt over Syaoran and pulled out her star key.

"Key that holds the power of the stars… Oh, whatever! RELEASE!"

To the people watching it might have seemed quite ridiculous to see a teenage girl with a pink wand chasing after another teenage girl who was only armed with a plastic car, which she'd taken from the now unconscious male and seemed to be the source of all the trouble. But to them, it made complete sense. That car was worth more than their lives.

"NOO!" Tomoyo cried dramatically as a sudden gust of wind originating from Sakura's wand snatched the Ferrari out of her hand and sent it flying through the air.

"Fly!" Sakura threw the card out in front of her and it lifted her off the ground, sending her diving towards the car from above.

Tomoyo wasn't fast enough, running forwards with her hands out stretched; Sakura caught it, then did a cute little flip, landing on the ground safely.

"Not fair!" Tomoyo said angrily. "If you use magic, then I—…" She smiled evilly. Sakura stepped back, alarmed at the confidence in her best friend's eyes.

Tomoyo lifted up her right hand. Sakura watched in fear as her friend brought her fingers together and clicked. Suddenly, they were surrounded by Tomoyo's bodyguards.

"Ah!" Sakura exclaimed as they began to close in on her. Tomoyo seemed to be emanating some kind of evil, dark aura. Her smile widened and she said victoriously to her group, "Get that car!"

Syaoran suddenly rolled in, knocking over some bodyguards like pins in bowling. He stood up in the middle of the circle with Sakura.

"What are we gonna do?" he asked, worried, back-to-back with her.

"You're helping me now?!" Sakura said in surprise. The bodyguards were creeping in slowly, getting closer and closer. The gap left from Syaoran's sudden entrance was now filled. There was no escape.

"Mwahaha!!" Syaoran said, reaching behind him to where Sakura's hand was, and pulling the car from her grasp. He left as quickly as he'd come, diving towards the guards on the other side of the circle and rolling between them at the last moment.

"He's got the Ferrari!" someone shouted. Tomoyo and Sakura looked at each other cautiously.

"He's a formidable opponent," Sakura said. "Like a monkey." Tomoyo nodded her agreement.

"Temporary truce?" she asked with a charming smile. The two girls shook hands.

"Attack!" Tomoyo commanded her not-so-small army and they leapt into action, chasing Syaoran down the main road. Sakura used Fly to scan from above.

"He's between McDonald's and the school. Moving in a south-easterly direction," she told Tomoyo through the radio, trying to sound official.

"Okay," Tomoyo's scratchy voice answered from the close-range communication device. "Team B: approach from the west; don't let him see you. Sakura: you're our eyes from above. Team A: with me. Cover the other exits!"

"Sailor scouts, go!" Sakura ordered. "Sorry, I've always wanted to say that." The only answer was static.

She deliberately disobeyed Tomoyo's instructions and landed on a nearby building, using the stairs to get back on the ground. She wasn't going to let anyone get that car other than herself.

As she'd predicted, Syaoran ran right past the doorway she was hiding in. She reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into the shadows quickly before anyone saw. She held him tightly to her, one hand over his mouth.

"Where'd he go?!" they heard Tomoyo ask in surprise. Then she put two and two together. "Damn that Sakura! She betrayed us!" Tomoyo directed her army in the wrong direction then, leaving Sakura alone with Syaoran.

Sakura pulled Syaoran inside the abandoned building and tied him to a chair. He struggled but he couldn't break free; Sakura's magic was too powerful. She turned a lamp on the table in front of him to shine in his face.

He shut his eyes to protect from the glow and muttered, "You'll never find it."

"Oh, really?" Sakura said calmly, turning the lamp away from his face. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the object in Sakura's hand. She had the car.

He looked down in defeat. "You win."

"Yes, that's right! I do! And now the money is all mine!!" Sakura cackled, holding the car out and dropping it into a box. She then proceeded to lock the box and use shield on it so nobody else could open it.

"Yay!" she said happily, clapping her hands together. She noticed Syaoran's dejected expression.

"Aww, don't worry. When we get married, it'll be your money, too!" she comforted him, moving around to his side of the table and sitting on his lap. She untied his arms then kissed him to cheer him up.

"There is no money," a new voice said. Chiharu was standing in the doorway with Yamazaki next to her. She pushed him roughly into the room and he fell to the ground. "Tell them what you told me," she sneered.

"Okay, okay, don't hurt me please." He turned to Syaoran and Sakura and told them, "Honestly, there is no money. That's just a normal car. I lied. I'm sorry."

Sakura and Syaoran had their mouths wide open in shock.

"So all that was…"

"…for nothing."

They wondered how they could be so stupid to actually believe that the tiny Ferrari was actually worth something. Sakura unlocked the box and put it on the table.

"Let's go, Syaoran," she said, leaving. He untied his legs and left with her. Chiharu and Yamazaki followed.

"It's all mine!!!" They heard Tomoyo's triumphant shout from the room they'd just left. Sakura peeked back around the corner and saw Tomoyo sitting on the ground, patting the car lovingly. She considered telling Tomoyo that it was all a lie, but then she realised Tomoyo probably wouldn't be able to handle it. She might lose her mind in the shock. She had become quite attached to the toy.

So Sakura followed her disillusioned friends out of there, leaving Tomoyo alone in the room muttering quietly to herself, "My precious… my precious."

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**A/N: Huh. I suppose that wasn't actually too bad. Star Wars is now the 20****th**** most popular fanfiction category. Oh no! I have to get Card Captor Sakura back to 20****th**** position… I must.**


End file.
